Just freaking text him.

First off, please excuse the grammar as far as punctuation goes in this article, as I am currently driving to Fort Worth. Don’t worry, I’m not texting and driving. Not really. I’m just speaking into the phone…because, well, when inspiration hits…what can you do?


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So here’s the thing that I hate most about this whole 21st Century Dating thing: It encourages us to be passive aggressive. I was raised by a strong woman (mama) who taught me to be blunt and to not be afraid to say what I think, so the passive aggressive side to dating is something that I’ve yet to master, nor do I have any interest in learning it. I understand that it’s all a part of “the game” and that I should probably just suck it up and deal, or risk dying alone. But just as we should never completely lose ourselves once in a relationship, I don’t want to lose myself to the bullshit that is “the game.”

To all the former sorority girls (or anyone who’d rather tell their friend their hair looks good when it’s frizzy and looks like shit), here’s the bottom line: I don’t understand how not being upfront about what you think or how you feel makes you more attractive. Why can’t we just own it? Why does telling someone how you feel make you look desperate or thirsty?

 

One thing I learned from my blunt mom (and my whole family, actually), is that pussyfooting around and not asking for what you want actually makes it less likely for you to get what you want. It’s pointless and is a complete waste of time. Besides, what’s so bad about a bit of bluntness?

I fully understand that one should never be who The Betches call “Karen.” She’s just delusional. But I also don’t understand why deliberately ignoring texts makes us look like we have a life. I don’t need to appear to be fabulous, I already am.

It doesn’t make sense to me that we can’t just be honest with ourselves and our date that we’d like to see them again. It’s one thing to be blasé, it’s another to wait around for some guy to have the courage to ask you out again. One thing I’ve realized about myself, is that my independence can be intimidating. Because of this, I honestly feel slightly obligated to be a bit more real…if only to give these schmucks the push they apparently need.

If you’re into someone, make time for them. You don’t need to obligate yourself to spending every day with them for the rest of your life right now, but we’re all busy. I’m the Queen of Busy (Queen B, duh). Don’t make a new date a priority, but hell, if you wanna see someone do more than just say “yeah I’d like to see you.”

On the other hand, I also don’t understand the lack of confrontation about NOT being into someone. Why do we have to take longer to respond, send shorter messages, or just ghost someone all together? When they ask us out, what’s wrong with saying, “Hey bud, I’m just not that into you, sorry. Friends? Lol”? I mean, are you just trying to keep someone on the back burner in case it doesn’t work out? If so, that is SO college. If you’re one of those people who doesn’t like conflict, then all I have to say to you is you need to man the fuck up and deal. Conflict is a part of life, especially in relationships. Give your date some closure! If you ask me, there’s absolutely nothing wrong with that, no matter how many dates you went on.

While I’ve been extremely entertained with this “Do NOT Text Him” shit, that’s really why I’ve been doing it. It’s a list of things to do when I’m bored, not a list of things to do to distract me. Maybe it was, for all of a minute, but then I got my shit together. I have way too many things to do with my life than fret because some dumb schmuck won’t text me back. I feel like I’m attempting to walk this fine line between being blunt (aka ME) and playing this dumb game.

I guess this whole rant is because I’ve just been so conflicted. I’m not heart-set on having a boyfriend, I’m happy just the way I am. I like dating because I like meeting people (plus it’s nice to snuggle with someone other than my dog)…but I don’t want to get married any time soon, if ever…and I feel like most people in the dating world are either just fucking around or in it for the long haul.

So you know what? Y’all can take this post however you want. As for me, I think the consensus here is that I need to get my perfect ass out of The Game. I resign.

…At least for now.

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