Do NOT Text Him #21

Get so drunk you pass out…with your phone on silent.

My phone is almost always on silent, for the record. It scares me when it rings.

But this was unintentionally my Sunday…because mimosas. At least I went to church, though. That totally makes up for the entire bottle of bubbles I drank…and then the half bottle of wine…by myself…


After my Jimmy John’s sandwich, I passed out cold at about 8PM. For a normal person, that’s the benefit of getting really drunk. For an insomniac like me, it totally fucks up my sleep cycle.

Don’t go to bed ridiculously early if you try this one.

The good news is, he texted me.

The bad news is, it was totally stupid and didn’t warrant a response from me. Or wait. Maybe that’s not such a bad thing…


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