Go on a run…and get really toned.

I highly encourage all of you text-fiends to make this the first thing on this list that you do. Go. Right now. Even if you hate running.

Why?

Two words: Bikini. Season.

And what better way to get this loser’s attention (without texting him) than by looking drop-dead sexy in your new Victoria’s Secret bikini? Bonus points if you post a beach/pool selfie on social media. Better yet (if you don’t want to wait that long to brag about your hot bod), snap a selfie for your Story or post to Instagram after your run. Yes, you’re gross and sweaty. Apparently, guys dig that. So be one of those assholes bragging about their work out. Why the hell not? You look good in your running shorts and now he can see that 100 of your closest “friends” and potential Boy Toys think you look damn good, too.

…Plus, it’s really hard to text while you’re running. Like…really hard.

Confused?

Read my first post of the series. Then read the rest.