Do NOT Text Him #36, #47, #50

#36: Put all of your cereal boxes into plastic cereal containers.

I would totally do this…but I can’t.

I don’t eat cereal, and therefore do not have any cereal boxes. Or cereal containers, I might add.

But if I did eat cereal, I’d totally do it.


#47: Play your breasts like drums.

Uh, what? I think I can live without this one…because ouch? Seriously, what’s the point of that? Self injury? Not about that life.

Try it, if you must. But you’re not a monkey or a cave man…or 21st Century Man.


#50: Take a nice, long sh*t.

I could not have smiled bigger when I saw this on the list. Definitely my favorite.

There’s nothing better than a good poop, amiright?


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Or read more about my dating woes.

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