Congrats, you’ve just become my next story.

I feel like I should start saying something to that effect at the start of a date…or the end, if it’s newsworthy: “Disclaimer, I might publish flattering/unflattering information about you to my blog…anonymously, of course.” 

“You look like a student,” he said sitting down at my table.

“Thanks,” I replied with a sly smile. It was at least the third time in the last week a guy had told me that. Stranger or otherwise. 

I was sitting outside at a local coffeehouse, finishing up an article I was writing on my laptop. It was a pretty hipster place, so it wasn’t that I looked out of place tapping away at my keyboard; but I did look quite studious. My notebook and planner sat off to my left, along with my latest book endeavor. Next to me was the dead giveaway to my student look: a backpack. I was also a bit flustered – deadlines (self-given, but deadlines nonetheless) – which probably made me look like a student cramming for finals or a final paper. By the time the new guy returned with his beer and joined me, I’d started breathing normally and powered down my laptop. 

I rely heavily on first impressions, if you haven’t noticed. This guy seemed a bit pompous. Nice, sure…but he even walked with his chest puffed out a bit. Is that some sort of mating thing? Or was he just being a show-off, trying to impress me with his world travels and how he used to live and work abroad? Probably not, given the way things ended (or lack thereof, as usual). So he was probably just pretentious. Ugh.

It was an interesting evening, to say the least. Not terrible and definitely not the worst date I’ve ever been on. We spent a great deal of time discussing writing and had the most arousing Harry Potter discussion I’d ever had in my life.

Still not turned on enough to kiss him and luckily, he didn’t even try.

“I’ll walk you to your car,” he offered after we watched about half of The Breakfast Club. If it hadn’t been so late, I’d have stayed just to finish it…not that I haven’t seen it a million times…I was just thoroughly enjoying it. Even though it was nearly 10PM and way past my bedtime, I would have stayed. I guess that was my first sign.

We got to my car and he stood a good two feet away from me. I thought Dan Humphrey was awkward…at least he admitted he knew he was being weird. We said goodbye sans hug. Not even a wave. Just “Oh, we should do this again sometime, ya?” “Yeah for sure.”

Awkwardly look at each other.

“Okay bye.”

End scene.

It’s one of the few times I’ve been at a mutual stand-still with a date. He hasn’t texted since we met…I guess he sort of ghosted me. I can’t say I care, even as far as my ego is concerned, though. Trying to be nice and thinking perhaps a platonic relationship would be more fitting, I invited him to a cookout with my friends about a week later. He didn’t even bother with a response. 

Rude? Oh yes. Heartbroken? No. 

It seems like most men I meet end up being a distraction from one guy or another…and he served his purpose. I was moderately entertained for an evening; nothing more. I’m okay with that. He’s one of the two guys who made it to my phone number before I deleted Bumble…so another one bites the dust.