An Open Letter to Literally Everyone

Dear friends, family, employers, acquaintances, followers, neighbors, and anyone else I haven’t covered – 

I think we all know how it feels to be judged…and we’re lying to ourselves and everyone else if we claim to never have been on either the receiving or giving side of judgement. Whether it’s because of the color of our hair, our gender, our skin, or what kind of car we drive, judgement is everywhere.

That said, I’m not here to lecture. I’m not going to say “Hey everyone! Stop freaking judging everyone!” Because that’s simply not realistic.

I’ve recently been on the receiving end of some pretty harsh judgments by people whose opinions and values were very important to me. Now typically, I’m the type of person who brushes off any type of judgement if I’m being judged based on a true fact about myself. For example, I’m loud. For some reason, this offends people. If that’s the case, there’s really nothing I can do about it, it’s their prerogative. However, recent judgments of me have had to do with my character and were drawn by my direct sales position with Pure Romance. I use the term “position” loosely, since it technically is in spite of the fact that I am new and have not been successful enough to consider it a job instead of a past time.

I understand the conclusions people may come to at first, because yes, I sell sex toys with my bath & beauty products. What people don’t understand at glance though, is that Pure Romance is not some skeezy company and I’m not a nymphomaniac. I’m passionate about health, especially sexual heath because I don’t think it gets enough TLC (pun intended). There are so many issue that arise because sex ed is hidden behind closed doors and while I would love to move mountains with this, I understand the need to take baby steps. This is why I push our bath & beauty products, over the more expensive toys (which, by the way, are marketed as “relationship enhancers” because they’re not meant to be dirty but helpful). As a country, we’re simply more comfortable talking about bubble bath than lube, and I understand that in this market, you can’t just jump in and scream “Hey everyone, I sell sex toys!” As a company, Pure Romance keeps it about education and they keep it classy and as a consultant, I try to keep it tame (unless my clients are comfortable with the shift to the bedroom) because I want everyone to be comfortable.

More importantly, I’m not writing this to promote myself as a Pure Romance Consultant. I’m writing because to market my business, I had a few posts on Instagram and instead of being judged based on my profile as a whole, I was judged based on my Pure Romance promotional posts. Unfortunately, I’ve caved to the judgment and have removed the posts, but for other reasons. I believe that with or without these posts, however, it’s more prudent to look at my (or anyone’s) profile as a whole. Scroll through my feed and you’ll see a young women who adores her family and is confident, driven, active, and determined. Talk to me or read the captions and you’ll learn that I’ve struggled but that I’ve prevailed because of my faith. I have big dreams and I know that I’m going to make them happen, so I prefer to surround myself with like-minded people. I’m also Christian; it’s a huge part of my identity, but that doesn’t mean I’m not accepting of everyone because we’re all different and I think that’s what makes the world so beautiful. Further, I understand that I’m not perfect, so I will never pretend to be.

The point is, we’re all more than just one thing. Today, I’m more than just some Instagram posts but maybe you are more than just your job, or your neighborhood, or your family. Human beings are complicated and I think if we all just understand and accept that, we can learn how to open our minds to other people. I’m extremely judgmental – it’s what I do when I’m people-watching at the airport – but when push comes to shove, I’m not going to persecute anyone because I don’t like their hair, their nose ring, or what they’re eating for dinner. I wish that we would all just open our hearts and our minds to take in just a little bit more about those around us. If we did that instead of alienating others, we would all be so much happier.

Sometimes, I’m an idealist. I’ll get off my soap box now. 

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