You know I’m frustrated when I respond only in emojis…

I either don’t have time to put words into a sentence for my own enjoyment or I simply don’t have any. Either way, this is when you know to either get me coffee or alcohol, STAT.

For the record, I’m not complaining…but I’ve been working but butt off lately. I kind of rediscovered my motivation, so I’ve been going all-out building my empire. I (finally) planned out a blogging strategy so that I stop saying I’ll write and actually get pen to paper. And that organization has been ridiculously helpful.

I promised myself I would write yesterday and even though I had a crazy day at my 9 to 5 job, I still managed to sit down and get some writing in. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t proud of myself.

Writing was always one of those therapeutic things I used to do when I had something on my mind. It was a way to help me sort through my emotions before I returned to the real world. Whether I was writing about my own life or something I made up, it was my therapy. And then, writing became my job – which is pretty freaking sweet, don’t get me wrong – but it makes it far more difficult to distinguish between work-writing and play-writing. You know you have those days where you’re so mentally taxed…you just want to kick back on the couch and turn on the most mindless sitcom you can find on Netflix? That was me yesterday.

I’ve recently been given reign over our website’s slideshow content at my 9 to 5 gig. It’s not totally a bad thing, it’s fun and it’s a really good experience; but it’s a LOT of work. I may know how to delegate but that hasn’t stopped me from turning my 9 to 5 into an 8 to 6 with no break for lunch. On top of that, I’ve been really motivated to work on my freelancing business, so I’ve been working from 8 to 6, going to a coffee shop or bar, and working for myself until about 8 or 9. To say I’ve been a little stressed…well, you can imagine.

It doesn’t help that on top of the actual job, my new work environment is pretty chaotic. We moved offices, so I’ve got the sales team chatting on one side of me and the support team chatting on the other. And all the while there is just constant movement around me…

In all honesty, I thrive in a certain amount of chaos: coffee-shop level chaos. You know, when there’s not too much chattering but just enough that it can be white noise, and a lot of people honed in on whatever their business is? But yesterday (and today, to be honest), I sat at my desk with my headphones blaring (I couldn’t quite find the right Spotify playlist, either, which didn’t help) and I just felt my blood pressure skyrocketing to the energy around me. It’s a miracle I made it through the day, let alone to put pen to paper after.

It’s taken a LONG time…but I guess I’ve just finally learned how to push through the bull shit and brush it off. Focus on me and get shit done. I guess it’s because my new thing is that when I’m frustrated, I don’t give into it when I get home from work. I’ve stopped letting the bad days defeat me.

For me, making myself feel better last night was as simple as a little glass of wine and a lot of organization. And hey, it worked! I ended up writing this and four more entries to post later.

It wasn’t easy to persuade myself to stay out after work but I was one of two customers at a local bar last night. They had a great oldies playlist and I had a brand new journal, wine, and some munchies. It couldn’t have been a better end to a crazy day.


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